I Hate To Break It To You, But You Are Not Going To Win The Lottery

Do you think a recent lottery winner lives here?

In my last office, we had a guy who ran the lottery pool. He diligently collected money every week from a sizable group of people, but not me. I buy maybe 2 tickets a year, if it occurs to me. Any more investment than that feels like burning money. This man talked about it incessantly, especially if there was a lot of money at stake. In Canada, the jackpots don't get as ridiculously huge as in America, but every now and then, they'll hit 20-40 million dollars. The good thing, though, is that lottery winnings are not taxed in Canada, so if you win $40 million, you get a cheque for $40 million. And this poor schmuck was so sure he'd win.

He worried about which room to book for the team meeting where the group would discuss their next move. He worried about hiring a lawyer to hire to help with the dispersion of the cash. His obsessive desire to hit the big score was mostly confusing, though, because if you had seen this guy, you would have to wonder what the hell he wanted with millions of dollars. I know if I had an endless stream of money, I'd upgrade my already Imelda Marcos-ish shoe collection, and the hotels I stay in when I travel. (Seriously, if I won a lottery, you would actually be able to pinpoint the day in the monthly retail sales results.) But this guy? He didn't look like someone who aspired to great wealth, he looked like someone who slept in a ditch. Never combed his hair or brushed his teeth. Wasn't interested in travel. Didn't want to help his family, based on the many comments about going off the radar to keep his mooching relatives away. And he wasn't poor! He had a house, a car, a pension, and was about to retire. The only thing we knew that he liked was Pepsi. What did he want with millions of dollars? Did he want to ride out his golden years in a villa next to George Clooney on lake Como? To steal Gisele Bundchen from Tom Brady? What?

I never did find out. He retired, so I guess he just buys tickets for himself now. I hope he found a hobby. Hell, I hope he wins the lottery. I really want to know what he'd do with all that money...

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