Skip to main content

Evening Attire

This is not evening wear.

Last Friday we went to the 21 Club for a pre-theatre dinner, and then on to the Belasco Theatre to see Neil Patrick Harris in Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  The dinner was amazing, and NPH blew my mind (I now have a serious crush on him, but we'll deal with that later). Afterwards, we stopped by The Modern for a late drink.  Sounds like a classy evening out, right?  Well, almost.



Here's the thing: I don't understand why people don't dress for the occasion.  I realize I am almost alone in this, however.

21 has a dress code, and they enforce it, thank God, but at the theatre?  Christ, you'd think I was at the Home Depot based on what most people had on.  This isn't elitist, either- if I could see you, you were sitting in front of me, so your tickets had to cost $300 and up.  I'm thinking if you can afford the ticket to the show, you can afford a shirt with buttons on it, as opposed to the t-shirt you picked up at Comic-Con 2012 (seriously, that is what the guy right in front of me was wearing).

The ladies were no better.  In fact, many of them were dressed the same as the fellas: t-shirt, cargo shorts, and running shoes.  In New York. On a Friday night. In a Broadway theatre. There was a woman in The Modern wearing a pink velour track suit and dirty running shoes.  She couldn't be poor, because she was in a place where the drinks are $16. When did this become a thing?

Some helpful questions to ask yourself when getting dressed for a night out:


Is this what I wore the last time I mowed the lawn? 

Would this outfit be perfectly suited to the McDonald's drive-thru?

Could I comfortably complete a marathon in these shoes?

Is there something "hilarious" written on my t-shirt?

If you answer Yes to any of the above, I implore you to go back to your closet and start outfit planning anew.  Or go to the nearest Joe Fresh and get a damn dress or a dress shirt and pants.  You don't have to break the bank.  The bar is so low these days, that in a navy v-neck chiffon dress from Ann Taylor, I looked like The LSD compared to everyone else.

A night on the town is supposed to be different from a night at home.  I don't understand why you would show up at an elegant bar or a storied theatre dressed like you are about to binge-watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey on your sofa while eating KFC. I think you are disrespecting your surroundings, and your fellow patrons.  And you're pissing me off. You really don't want to do either.



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Writing at Night

This is how I do it.  My brain turns on at the weirdest times. I first saw a pen like this when I was in my 20s, in a TV report about a movie reviewer, who used one to take his notes in a dark theatre.  I searched everywhere, and finally found one.  Before I had it, I tried a few other tactics to help me save for posterity the incredibly deep, meaningful thoughts I felt I was having at night. I tried just writing with a pencil in the dark, but that didn't work out too well.  My writing, on a good day, looks like someone suffering from the DTs sprayed Silly String  on paper during an earthquake.  What I mean to say is, it's really, really bad.  So, the pencil thing was a bust. Next, I bought a mini-tape recorder, but my middle-of-the-night mumbling was almost worse than my writing.  It seemed like my Shakespearean musings would be lost to humanity.  How tragic! The pen. Then, I got my flashlight pen.  It was a revela...
1 comment
Read more

Girls Who Wear Glasses

Image- Pinterest I had braces for 3 years.  That may give you some idea of how out of whack my teeth were as an adolescent.  My dad used to say I could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.  Even with good insurance, he still referred to my braces as "the trip to Hawaii."  I had them removed just a few weeks into high school.  I was perfect, for about a month. Then, one day in math class, my teacher asked me to do the problem written on the blackboard.  "There's something written on the blackboard?" I said, which was both smart-ass and true.  I couldn't see a damn thing on it.  So, off I went for an eye exam, and, sure enough, I needed glasses.  I was  not  pleased.  Hipsters hadn't yet been spawned by the devil, and the only people who wore glasses were nerds and old people.
2 comments
Read more

IKEA Vittsjö Hack- My Golden Table

I am great at spending money.   If I know I'll wear it and feel pretty in it, I can justify a $40 lipstick.  It's all about perceived value.  $400 for gorgeous boots that I'll wear and be comfortable in?  Absolutely.  More than that for something that I'll put drinks and magazines (and my feet, when no one's around) on?  No, sorry, can't do it.  It's the law of diminishing returns.  Sure, a $500 coffee table is probably nicer than a $50 one, but it's not ten times nicer.  A coffee table can only be so interesting, to me, anyway.  I understand that this is the minority opinion, however. Hence, Ikea.
2 comments
Read more