Canada Day Butter Tarts

There's a Family Guy episode where Lois serves a casserole for dinner, and someone asks "What are these crunchy things?" She says "I ran out of paprika, so I used M&Ms instead." That's my mom!

My mom is a world class recipe substituter. Nothing quite as batshit as M&Ms for paprika, but pretty damn close.  Once, she tried to make Spicy Szechwan Chicken, but we were out of red pepper flakes.  She used oregano instead.  You would be correct in assuming that this was not a screaming success.

In honour of Canada Day, I felt like making butter tarts.  I didn't have any corn syrup, which is called for in the traditional recipe I use, so rather than just doing a straight substitution like my mom would have (and added, I don't know, Sriracha?), I Googled around and found this version, using maple syrup. How apropos!

Another professional-quality food pic.  Trust me, they were delicious.

These ain't health food, and Goopy would bitch-slap a girl for eating something as full of grease and sugar as these. Whatevs.   Eggs, brown sugar, maple syrup, melted butter, and for some reason, a tablespoon of cider vinegar, comprise the filling.  Some people add other things, but some people would be wrong.

Diabetics, turn away!

Pastry is one of those things that turns out best when you are really careful with the temperature of the water and the fat; I wasn't in the mood to be so precise, so I popped over to the market and picked up these tart shells.  I don't normally use any packaged things when baking, but how bad could these be?  I mean, they're low sodium! *giggle*

Oh, low in sodium.  These must be healthy!

Before baking them, I was worried that I had filled them too high, and they'd bubble over and splatter all over the place, but I took the risk.  You'll note I still had quite a bit of filling left over.  The recipe called for using a muffin tin, which would have made these deeper.  For once, I decided not to consume what I couldn't use.  This shit is so sweet, I would probably be in a diabetic coma if I had.

Left over sugar goop, but no more tarts.  I'll admit it, I had a spoonful.  Sugar rush!

They turned out quite lovely, I must say.  They set well, and the pastry is a pale golden colour. Sure, they're a lot smaller than a traditional butter tart, but that just makes them less deadly, not less delicious.  Sugar, butter, and eggs.  No filler.  Pecans are for Yankees, and raisins are for mental patients.  These are proper Canadian butter tarts.  Which should, obviously, be called sugar tarts. Maybe the reason we have free health care and pioneered the use of Insulin is that we think these are something a person should actually eat.  Clearly, as well as being polite to the point of ridiculousness, we are also badass.

For the love of God, eat just one.