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WHAT is that SMELL?

I came home from work yesterday, and when I opened the front door, I felt like I was hit in the face with a wet mop used to clean up vomit at a bus terminal.  A horrible, fetid smell had developed in my condo while I was at work.  I immediately tried to fix the situation by seeking the source of the smell and getting it the hell out of my house.  As it was humid and wet out,  instead of opening the windows, I cranked the A/C. I assumed this was a refrigerator-based problem, since, to be honest, that has been the occasion in the past once or twice.  I'll admit, I am not great at remembering what's lingering in the crisper or way in the back.  I have left lettuce in the fridge so long that it turned into a brown liquid, so I went on a reconnaissance mission. I tossed out the obvious suspects- some old kale, and some lentils that had morphed into a solid mass.
Spice Market, Aix-en-Provence.  A very nice smell!
I assumed that was the end of it, so I sat down to watch the second last Mad Men on my new DVR.  After weeping my way through the show, I noticed that it still smelled!  This was not good, but I was exhausted, so I figured I'd just deal with it in the morning.

Except, the smell seemed to grow all night, and actually managed to permeate my bedroom. It was so bad that it kept me awake. By midnight, the whole place smelled like the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant.  Somehow, I fell asleep.

I am not a morning person, so when I got up,  I just toughed it out.  I think I sprayed half a bottle of my strongest perfume, Coco, to kill the scent so I could get ready.  The weird part was, I couldn't really identify where this monstrous odour was coming from; it just sort of hung in the air.  Honestly, did I scale a trout and leave it behind the sofa?  Are there hard-boiled eggs in my air ducts?  What the hell is this??

I got home and changed out of my work clothes, and tackled the fridge again. I found some limes in the back of  the crisper, except they weren't limes, they were lemons that had been in the fridge so long they had turned green. I may be on to something here.  But, I've tossed them out, and IT STILL SMELLS!

So now, I'm going to start tearing the place apart.  I wouldn't be surprised to find a dead squirrel somewhere, despite the fact that I live on the 22nd floor.  If I ever find out what this is, I'll update this post, but for now, wish me luck!

UPDATE:  Well, I threw out a ton of food, power-washed the crisper drawers, took out every bit of garbage and poured white vinegar down the kitchen drain.  I opened all the windows before I left for work this morning, as well.  It's better, but there is still a lingering bit of staleness.  I can only hope that this weekend, my neighbour will fry up as much bacon as he normally does on his days off.  Now that's a smell I can get behind.

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  1. AnonymousMay 12, 2015 at 10:09 PM

    I was hoping for a pic of the fuzzy green lemons! -Kira

    ReplyDelete

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